That's all true.

Why you find it scary is the mystery (Diablo 3 Gold). There is nothing wrong with waiting to contact an adult and not interfering in the life of a minor.

It's true that reunion is between the adult adoptee and the bmom, not the aparents. It is not about you and you are not invited, by either party. Why you expect to be is a sign of your fears and need to be controlling.

Yes, it's normal to issue an invite to meet/have contact and the touch base periodically to see if anything has changed or at least to let the other know the door is still open. People grow and change. I wasn't interested in reunion in my teens but really wanted it in my late 20s. In my early 30s I was too busy raising kids to care or look. In my 40s I had time again and the interest. Didn't find her until I was in MY late 40s.

Finally, YES, adults have the RIGHT to initiate contact with each other and to follow through and make contact. Either has the right to decline. But even that required some contact in order for the offer to be made and declined. Adults have the right to meet and know one another without their parents' approval or permission (Diablo 3 Gold). Without the parents even knowing about it, if the adoptee wants it that way. Reunion is not about the parents in any way, good or bad. It is SOLELY about the adoptee and the bmom and solely between them.

Your NEED to control or prevent reunion is sick and screams out your fears.